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The Antelope

The Antelope

If your major had a slogan


Have you heard these popular slogans around your department lately?  Someone certainly has…
By Lindsey Ruiz

Disclaimer: These are meant to be funny. All majors are valued and essential in their own way! Remember to select a major that makes you happy; don’t settle for what makes you the most money or gives you the best benefits.

You can make as much money as you want, as long as you apply yourself.

1. Pre-Med: I’ve watched all 13 seasons of “Grey’s”; I can do anything.

2. Political Science: Your opinion is wrong!

3. Communications: Learning how to convince people my degree matters.

4. Chemistry: The only place alcohol IS the solution.

5. Math: I just want to be a math teacher, OK?

6. Art History: It’s story time for adults.

7. Physics: You obviously hate yourself.

8. Civil Engineering: I am not an architect!!!! :/

9. Psychology: If you aren’t planning on getting a PhD, enjoy your HR job.

10. Statistics: A ton of numbers nobody understands because it’s all made up.

11. Music: We go from bar to bar.

12. Social Work: We’re not in it for the income, we’re in it for the outcome.

13. Nursing: Every answer is right, but you’re always wrong.

14. Criminal Justice: We’re here because of “Law and Order” reruns.

15. History: $45,000 later and you’re qualified to play Jeopardy.

16. Finance: Accounting was too hard.

17. Education: It’s not about being write; it’s about being right.

18. Sports Management: When you were an athlete, physical education was too predictable.

19. Information Technology: You like working with computers, not the people that use them.

20. Engineering: Whatever, it’s good enough! That will be $50,000, please!

21. Graphic Design: No, I’m not an artist; I’m a designer. There’s a difference.

22. Radiology: I just want to take pictures of your bones.

23. Physiology: Why not?

24. Accounting: Selling your soul to make a profit.

25. Counseling: Hiding your own feelings to listen to others.

26. Dance: Looks like you’re retiring before 30.

27. Environmental Scientist: It’s called SOIL not dirt.

28. Art: You complete it, we critique it. No refunds.

29. English: Are you going to teach? ‘Cause if not, good luck. 

30. Industrial Distribution: The day after graduation and you already make six figures?

31. Photography: No, it’s OK I’m taking a photo.

32. Sociology: We have ways of making you talk.

33. Gender Studies: says something…… *I’m offended

34. Cinema Studies: A really expensive Netflix account.

35. Business: My dad told me to major in business, and he’s paying for it, so I just kind of went with it.

36. Linguistics: Studied 16 languages, am fluent in none of them due to Google Translate.

37. Biology: Most of you will not get into Med-School…

38. Marketing: Persuading people to buy things they don’t need, so you can buy things you don’t need.

39. Exercise Science: What exactly are you doing?

40. Undecided: Who are we? Undecided! What do we want? We have no freaking idea!

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