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The Antelope

Cocaine Squirrels attack UNK campus, break several laws

UNK cocaine squirrel. Photo by Antelope Staff

In 2022, UNK reported eight angry squirrels constantly running through the campus sidewalks. UNK’s campus has a history of squirrels that are have become familiar to the domestic environment and being surrounded by college students. 

Jona Bangs, the 16-year-old senior explains his experience encountering the cocaine squirrels when taking out his garbage on Friday, Feb. 29. 

“The squirrels were staring at me in the corner behind Men’s Hall after I was taking out my trash,” Bangs said. “When I turned around to go back inside, the squirrels ran after me, biting me on my forearm.”

Thousands of dollars of cocaine were thrown out of a moving vehicle on University Drive, which wraps around the campus. Traces of the substance were found floating in the water stream that flows between the fraternity & sorority houses and the Health and Sports Center. Squirrels on the campus have been known to run the sidewalks and green space ever since students can remember. 

In this bizarre incident, authorities in the Kearney community have arrested several potential prospects that are suspected of distributing and consuming cocaine, leading to the squirrel’s erratic behavior. 

Residents from Men’s Hall were not the only ones to experience an attack from the cocaine squirrels. Students leaving the Health and Sports Center that same weekend experienced several attacks from a gang of squirrels. 

Rihanna Chavez, UNK seventh-year senior explains her long lasting friendship with the campus squirrels. 

“I used to feed the squirrels on campus and they loved coming up to me in between classes,” Chavez said. “My heart would break if I knew that the squirrels are in danger and could be hurting students.” 

Lilia Paul, Darcey Clements, Wanda Frill and Anisha Pacheco, are all UNK freshmen who were attacked by a swarm of squirrels. These squirrels were subsequently arrested. 

Campus authorities have charged a Kearney resident who was allegedly keeping a massive stash of cocaine in the basement of his home. It is believed that the squirrels consumed a large portion of the cocaine baggies thrown out of the resident’s vehicle, leading to their attacking behavior. 

This incident has shocked the UNK student population and it has raised concerns about the impact of drug use on wildlife. The UNK Police Department is also concerned that small baggies of cocaine are still left scattered all over University Drive and that students will take advantage of the substance. This has yet to be seen, as does the outcome of this strange case. 

A large amount of cocaine squirrels have been captured all over campus, leaving an empty campus for students like Chavez to enjoy.

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  • Y

    Yeah okApr 2, 2023 at 2:32 pm

    This is a joke right, because of the cocaine bear movie cuz I call BS