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The Antelope

Antelopes go rampant in Lot 11, damage automobiles

Out of control Louie created potholes in Lot 11. Graphic by Kersie Delaney / Antelope Staff

In an unexpected turn of events, Louie the Loper created mayhem in Lot 11 as he ran rampant through the school parking lot.

The incident, which occurred during operating hours, caught students and faculty completely off guard. Louie caused extreme damage to vehicles parked in the lot and created potholes all over the lot. 

Once Louie started to run through vehicles, alarms began to blare, cars were honking and witnesses gasped.

Jake Jones, a sophomore majoring in biology, was one of the few students who got to witness this incident.

“I walk through Lot 11 every other day to get to my class,” Jones said. “Nothing out of the ordinary ever happens. It is always such a chill walk on campus. When I saw Louie going absolutely crazy, I instantly pulled my phone out and started recording it. It was a complete disaster. It is almost impossible to get through the parking lot now with all the potholes.”

Sam Smith, a sophomore majoring in exercise science with a minor in nutrition, also witnessed Louie’s rampage. Unfortunately, his car was one of Louie’s victims. 

“Never in a million years would I have guessed that Louie the Loper would be running loose on campus and worst of all, he ruined my car,” Smith said. “My windows are busted and there is a huge dent on the side of the passenger door. This is something you would see straight out of a movie. I need to figure out what I am going to do about my car.”

Whitney Anderson, a freshman majoring in business administration and management, had the perfect view of Louie going crazy from her dorm hallway in Randall Hall. 

“I was walking back to my dorm, which is at the end of the hall closest to the windows,” Anderson said. “I often look out the window to see what is going on, but I could not believe my eyes when I saw none other than Louie the Loper completely unfazed running through the lot. I was hoping he wouldn’t run into my car after watching him run into several cars.”

Anderson is also concerned about the parking lot damages.

“I am also pretty curious to see what the university is going to do about all the potholes throughout the parking lot,” Anderson said. It is going to suck trying to drive around them.”

Louie’s incident serves as a reminder to always expect the unexpected. The memory of Louie’s rampage will linger for some time among the student body.

DISCLAIMER: This story is a part of our annual April Fools’ issue, this story is not real. Happy April Fools’ Day!

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Gisell Torres
Gisell Torres, Reporter
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