By: Meg Housholder
Thank you for sticking around this long
Maybe you didn’t have a choice, or
spent too much time playing beer pong
Still, you’re here, now let’s rejoice
The first year everything is fresh and new
On your own, figuring out school
You’ve even found a new love for cold brew
And still get stumped about the protein molecule
The dorm life rules, staying up late with your suitemates
Or spending nights listening to your roommate on the phone
Trust me, you’ll regret those Tinder dates
And every other weekend, you miss mom and dad at home
Come sophomore year, think you’ve got this college thing in the bag?
You’re only 19! How can you decide a major?
It doesn’t help that your academic advisor is being a nag
You’re looking forward to a random house party ‘rager’
It’s time to choose, oh what will you do?
A major in business administration with a minor in psychology too
So long general studies courses, you will not be missed
Fingers crossed this year you’ll make the Dean’s list
Finally a junior, no longer a squirt
You realize your true passion is in fine arts
Maybe an injury happens, and you have to redshirt
You feel like your life is falling apart
Take a deep breath, everything will be OK
An extra year of college isn’t the end of the world
That’s what moms always say
So close but so far
However, you can finally make it into the bar
Empowered, confident and feeling like an adult
You’re on track to get your results
In class, friendly faces greet you every day
You’re excited for some friends to graduate in May
You can almost taste the freedom,
although the aftertaste is bittersweet
Let’s call this year a victory lap
Just before you go out in the world
to put your name on the map
The five years here have done you well
Let’s wrap this up in a nutshell
1825 days as a Loper, oh you’ll never forget
The best days of your life are over, now
on to paying back all your debt