Growing up often comes with the assumption that adulthood brings clarity, that one day everything will make sense. From a young age, the message is clear: everything will make sense eventually. People believe careers will fall into place, life paths will unfold and the confusing parts of adolescence will fade away. I used to believe that a certain age marked the beginning of certainty and direction.
Now that I am at this stage in life, I have realized how far this belief is from reality. The older I get, the more I see how uncertain everything truly is. The idea of being completely prepared for adulthood feels like something that only exists in theory. There is no clear guideline or timeline for how life is supposed to unfold.
It is strange how much pressure exists to have everything figured out by the time one reaches their early 20s. These years are often painted as the moments when everything should come together, when choices about careers, relationships and futures should already be decided. But, in reality, this stage of life feels more like an in-between space where things are still being shaped, and plans and mindsets change faster than expected.
I have noticed how many people around me tend to feel the same way, even if it is not spoken into existence. There’s a quiet understanding that no one really knows what they are doing, but everyone is trying to wear a mask and seem like they do. Social media only adds to this illusion by showing highlights and posts that make it seem like everything is perfect in everyone else’s life. It is easy to forget that most people are still figuring out things behind the scenes.
For me, I have a plan, as most do. The plans I have in my head are questioned every time someone asks, “What will you do when you graduate?” The thing is, I have a clear-cut answer for them, but deep down I’m not really sure. There are opportunities for a job or more school, and I don’t know which is right for me, and that is OK. Everyone feels these struggles at this time.
The truth is that uncertainty isn’t a sign of failure; it is part of growth. Life rarely follows a straight and predictable path. Sometimes the best opportunities appear unexpectedly, and these are sometimes the most perfect things for us. I have come to believe that not having all the answers can actually be freeing. It leaves space to explore, make mistakes and find new directions that might never have been considered otherwise.
Maybe the goal isn’t to have everything figured out by a certain age, but to continue learning how to move forward even with uncertainties. Clarity does not come in one big moment; it is slow, steady and important.
The idea of total preparedness might sound comforting, but it is also unrealistic. The reality of adulthood is far messier, more uncertain and much more human. Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe exploring options, leaving uncertainties and feeling free will help us all figure out our lives and purposes right when we are meant to.
